Non Violent Rape My Foot!

By Kevin Anetor Ose. (A Roman Catholic Priest of the Diocese of Uromi, Edo State, Nigeria)

              Rev. Fr Kelvin Anetor Ose

Today I woke up with a heavy heart. Last year I published a book with Patridge Africa (Indiana/South Africa) titled "Triumph of innocence" (triumphofinnocence.com). I wrote that book because of how strongly I feel about innocence. I do believe that all of us have a responsibility to fight for, and protect the innocence of others; especially those of us in religious or secular positions of authority. I have written reflections about rape and sexual molestation on a number of occasions. I am writing one yet again. I hope many will reflect upon it and see the need to engage in this noble act of caring for and nurturing innocence in others.

There are those who fail to understand the full implications of rape. The rapist has lost his humanity; he is a debased and mentally deranged individual who should be in a psychiatric institute. The rapist needs help urgently. He is more dangerous than the naked raving lunatic on the streets. It is even worse when the rapist thinks he isn't one just because he thinks he is not violent. It indeed takes a mentally deranged person to think that rape can ever be non violent. I'll explain.

According to the medical encyclopedia, "rape is defined as sexual intercourse that is forced on a person without his or her permission. It may involve physical force or the threat of force. It may also be done against someone who is unable to give consent. Sexual intercourse may be vaginal, anal, or oral. It may involve the use of a body part or an object." Okay! Here's the thing. Rape is always violent. Yes! Rape is always violent even if (when) it does not appear to be physically so. Sometime ago I met a young lady who had been sexually abused by her Mathematics teacher in her secondary school days. Although this lady told me that the teacher didn't use physical force on her, she noted that she had been too shocked and too afraid to reject the advances. In this case, there was no physical violence or force. However, the lady hadn't given her consent either; coupled with the fact that she was a minor at the time incident. The imposing and intimidating position of the teacher had been enough force. Her personality had been violated and defiled; her pride crushed, her innocence stolen, and her self esteem destroyed. Many years later, she still went around with the tell tale effects of the supposed non violent rape. See?

On another occasion, I met a young boy who had been abused at the age of ten by an older student. While the younger boy agreed he hadn't been too sure what the older boy was doing to him at the time, and he had made no efforts to stop it, he however knew that something was not right. He told me he later felt so humiliated when he came to realise the full implications of the abuse. Worse still, he spent the next couple of years beating himself up for not preventing the senior from doing what he did to him.

It's most criminal for a man of God, for instance, to take advantage of the innocence of those who come to him trusting that their innocence is safe and protected. It's even more absurd for the man of God to throw up his hands later on, screaming to the high heavens that he was seduced by a particular manner of dressing, or enticed against his will to sexually molest and rape these certain members of his congregation. He has a moral obligation to protect and nurture innocence. Beyond that, he has an obligation to direct even those who come at him with debased intentions. The same is true of one who occupies a secular office that demands good moral behaviour and ethical conduct. The medical doctor, for instance, cannot justifiably molest or rape his/her patients on the pretext that he/she was carried away by being exposed to too many naked bodies. Get the point? The fact remains that whatever happens, in cases of sexual molestation and rape, between an authority and a subordinate, the authority is always morally and legally culpable. Period!

Victims of rape and sexual molestation seldom speak out. They fear stigmatization and further victimisation. They fear that their corrupt system may not be able to offer them justice. In most cases, they prefer to remain unknown; that way they're sure no one would come to know their secrets. Sometimes, parents do not even help matters. Why would a mother for instance not want to properly investigate her bleeding six year old daughter? Why would a father sexually desire his own daughter? These are matters for another day.

Think about the many young people who are constantly raped by so called non violent rapists. Think of the many young people whose lives have become riddled by insatiable sexual cravings and urges because they had been abused at a very young age. Think about the many young people who'll never love or trust again because an authority that should have protected them turned around and abused their innocence. Think about the many young people yet unborn who'd later come in contact with these insolent and self righteous rapists.

Think! Oh please think. Make that rapist pay. Please do it for the innocence of the many yet unborn. Do it for the innocence of those yet to find love and trust. Do it for the sake of the many who today carry around the scars of sexual molestation and rape. Do it for your own dignity and self esteem. Do it because it's the right thing to do. Make that rapist pay. It's your right, seize it. Don't kill them. Don't take laws into your own hands, but make them face the full wrath of the law. If you can't, talk to someone who can.

May these rapists either have a change of heart or rot in hell, Amen!

God bless your day ahead...